The “Downton Abbey” Movie

The thing to know about the new “Downton Abbey” movie is that if you liked the TV show you’ll like the movie twice as much because it’s twice as long as a regular episode.  Because make no mistake, this is a TV show that just happens to be projected on the screen.  Film purists would gag if they ever saw something like this referred to as “cinema.”

Not that it isn’t fun to see the thing in a movie theater full of fans.  The Dowager Countess’ quips go over so well with an audience predisposed to love them that the laughter persists so long you can’t hear the follow-up dialogue.  Overall, it’s a delightful experience.  It’s like drinking a fine white zinfandel on a warm summer afternoon.  On ice.  And with a couple of squirts of seltzer water.  It just takes the edge off reality without diving too deep.

The first clue that this is not what cinema snobs would call a real movie comes at the very beginning.  Instead of opening credits, we have a ten-minute “previously on” catch up reel, in which the actors playing Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes, appearing as their thespian selves (Jim Carter and Phyllis Logan) provide a brief recap of the six seasons of the show, complete with clips. Can you imagine Mark Hamill and Carrie Fischer doing that at the beginning of “The Return of the Jedi”?  Inconceivable!  This intro is clearly aimed at spouses and others being dragged to the movie, who need to be introduced to the twenty main characters; “Downton” auteur Julian Fellowes don’t want to strain the mental capacity of any viewer who might not immediately grasp who Tom Branson or Isabelle Crawley are.

All credit to Lord Fellowes for recognizing that the series evolved into a high-end, but silly soap opera over the years. This opening recap makes many wry nods to some of the most preposterous plot twists over the years, making it clear we’re all in on the joke.  But nothing in this recap is as funny as the moment when a glimpse of reckless driver and one-time heir Matthew Crawley first appears on screen and there’s an audible sigh of appreciation from the ladies in the audience.

As for the movie itself, the plot revolves around the upcoming visit of the King and Queen, who are taking a tour of the north country and want to use Downton as an AirBnB for one night.  This would be King George V and Queen Mary (the grandparents of the current monarch).  Now, if you’ve ever seen any movies or TV shows about British royalty, you’ll know that these two (especially her) are usually portrayed as formidable, scary, and humorless, but in the “Downtown” film they are basically good sorts who happen to be stuck in a tough but necessary job.

To the extent there’s a theme in the movie, it’s that the rich and titled have a rough life too so we should get off their backs.  Poor Lady Edith, now a marchioness, has to serve on a lot of committees that bore her, and Lady Mary is stressed about keeping the roof repaired.  But that’s nothing next to burden of the king’s daughter, Princess Mary, who is stuck in a loveless marriage that she cannot escape because of the call of duty.  But in case anyone is too dim to understand the benefits of a landed aristocracy,  it’s a servant (!!), Lady Mary’s maid, the sainted Anna, who explains it to her:  Downton is the glue that holds the county together by providing jobs, continuity and a way of life that might otherwise disappear without the Crawleys.  So Mary agrees to suck it up and continue to live her privileged existence.  (Phew, that was close.)

Like many Downton episodes, the movie seesaws between the immensely consequential (i.e., will an assassination attempt be thwarted?) and utterly inconsequential, such as who will cook for and serve Their Majesties, which is barely one level above the Denker-Spratt feud.  And both are treated with the same amount of gravitas.

Part of the problem is that “Downton Abbey” is positioned as an Upstairs/Downstairs-type drama, where the lives of both the staff and the toffs are given equal weight.  But Lord Fellowes’ heart is not really with the downstairs staff.  Their lives could not seem less interesting or important.  Many downstairs characters, like Mr. Bates and Mrs. Baxter, have nothing to do except serve as wallpaper. And the actual plots: Andy the footman is jealous because his fiancee is ogling a handsome boiler repair man; someone is pilfering nick nacks; Barrow gets his nose out of joint because Carson comes back to manage the Royal Visit; the royal staff is overbearing.  Wow, whose fertile imagination dreamed up all these fascinating stories?

Another sign that the deck is stacked in favor of the aristocracy is the character of the anti-Monarchists.  One’s an assassin, another is a thieving servant, and then there’s the nitwit Daisy, whose class consciousness is so jumbled that says she will cook for the aristocrats but declares she won’t cook for their servants.  Way to show solidarity!  In fact, the bitterest battles are between the Downton and Royal servants, who squabble among themselves over who gets the honor of changing the royal bed linen. (And as the New York Times noted in its review, the Downton servants are so committed to their betters that they fight bitterly to deny themselves a well-earned day off when the royal staff arrive.

And returning  to the King and Queen for a moment, they have a remarkable common touch that is completely a-historical.  He worries about his son, the Prince of Wales (as well he should, given that said prince will eventually marry Mrs. Simpson and abdicate).  She worries about her daughter in her loveless marriage.  They show remarkable sensitivity to the needs of Edith and her husband. They seem to know all the personal gossip about the peers of the realm. And at the ball, the King even walks up to Tom Branson to thank him for his services to the crown, which seems highly irregular.  I’m pretty sure that when His Majesty wants to talk to a commoner at a public event he gets a flunky to fetch him and doesn’t just go striding over to chat him up.

Anyway, there’s a lot more of this nonsense during the two-hour run time.  If you like nostalgia, the British nobility, soap operas, and beautiful clothes, this movie is for you.  And to make an industry-wide observation, what’s interesting about this situation is that turning a TV show into a movie is the antithesis of the Netflixication of entertainment, in which everything except blockbusters is aimed at home entertainment.  This is a film event to get fans off their couches to congregate in front of a big screen like they’ve been doing for over a hundred years.  Whether this will start a trend is unclear.  There’s a subtle hint, though, that this might be the beginning of a “Downton” series.  I assume all that will depend on the box office.  So if you want to see more “Downton” movies, be sure to turn out.

Stray Thoughts:

— To be fair, there is one personally significant story thread involving a servant — Thomas’ first experience at a gay hang-out — but even that has an air of unbelievability.  On the very night the King and Queen visit, Thomas takes off with a member of the King’s staff (who has remarkable gaydar — he recognizes Thomas as a kindred spirit with one glance).  Thomas is surprised to learn that there is not only a gay bar in Downton (or was it York?  Not clear) but an underground gay nightclub too. Not that anyone ever uses the words “gay,” “homosexual,” or “queer.” Thomas’ euphemism is “men like me.”  I think we’re supposed to assume that Thomas and the staffer have sex but it’s only gently implied with the decorum of 1940’s Hollywood censor.  As is the case in many “Downton” plots, Lord Fellowes wants to have his cake and eat it too:  he introduces a contemporary theme to get the credit for being woke but hides it under layers of gauze to avoid offending the older, sensitive members of the audience who didn’t sign up for, you know, actual man-on-man action beyond one chaste kiss, which seems to be the sole reason for the film’s PG rating.

— I have a feeling that Julian Fellowes believes that if they showed what life was really like back then, modern audiences would be repelled.  For example, I find it very hard to believe that the dinner with the King and Queen would be as informal as presented here.  There are only three footmen serving the dinner and everyone looks pretty relaxed and convivial.  Compare that to a regular family dinner from the original “Brideshead Revisited,” which was made only 40 years after the period in question and is much more likely to be historically accurate (see video below, starting at 0:50). For half as many guests the “brideshead” family has twice as many footmen and the whole atmosphere is stiff and formal.  No sane person would want to live like that today, yet that’s how the upper classes conducted themselves less than a century ago.

— I know we’re supposed to be sympathetic to Tom Branson, but boy, is he a guy who keeps failing upward.  He’s a crypto-socialist who enjoys the fruits of his in-law’s largesse, despite having no apparent occupation (and whatever happened to his auto partnership with Henry Talbot?)  He abandoned his wife in Ireland when the Irish police were after him; he allowed himself to get seduced by an avaricious maid, creating a blackmail scheme that Mrs. Hughes had to extract him from.  And yet somehow he manages to sniff out an heiress before anyone else does and it looks like he’ll soon have his own unearned fortune to complain about if the final scenes are any indication.

— Why is Matthew Goode even in this movie?  His Henry Talbot shows up for the very last scenes, having raced back from the USA to attend the King’s visit.  I can only assume that Goode was filming another movie and could only be spared for a day’s worth of shooting.

— There was one nice subtle touch about the relationship between the peers and the monarchy: Lord Grantham is unimpressed by the news that the King is coming for a visit.  “Oh him?” his shrug implies.  The villagers are losing they minds but Robert Crawley probably remembers when George V was just one of Queen Victoria’s prat grandsons.

— “Downtown” usually likes to spoon feed the plotlines but I was completely confused about Lady Maud Bagshaw, who is apparently both the Queen’s BFF and the Dowager Countess’s cousin.  I think I figured it out in the end but it was only after piecing together several elliptical and muffled lines of dialogue.

— Speaking of Lady Bagshaw, she is played by Imelda Staunton, who is the wife of the actor who plays Mr. Carson — the aforementioned Jim Carter (see below).  She’s also better known as Delores Umbridge in the “Harry Potter” movies.

— Julian Fellowes, who likes to sprinkle some historical references into his stories, is a little stingy with the broader historical context.  Except for the presence of cars, you get the impression that the movie could be set anytime between 1870 and 1930.   But there is one line to date it: the King asks the Dowager Countess about the region’s reaction to the recent general strike.    This happened in 1926, when the coal miners went on strike and much of the rest of the country also refused to work in sympathy with them.  The Dowager Countess’s response is classic — all she knows is that her maid was “curt” for few days — demonstrating once again how out of it she is.

— Completely preposterous?  The idea that Tom Branson could stumble across the King’s daughter, the Princess Mary, on a bench and not recognize her.  Then, as now, and even without social media, the Royal Family were the biggest celebrities in the realm.

And don’t forget — Machiavelli is frequently underrated!

 

 

 

 

 

Notes From A Royal Wedding

[This running diary appeared on another blog platform on April 29, 2011, recapping the Prince William/Kate Middleton wedding.  I’m reposting it here in advance of Prince Harry’s wedding]

4:08  Still a bit groggy and not fully awake.  Turn on TV and channel surf until we alight on PBS, which seems more British and reserved than the rest.   But then the host is interviewing Kate’s school headmaster and asks if she was ever “naughty.”

4:10 Two minutes in and already here’s first reference to Kate’s dress.  Also first reference to MI6.

4:13 Check twitter.  Only one follower awake.

4:15  Guests arriving at the Abbey. Here come the Beckhams.  He’s wearing a Ralph Lauren suit!  And she’d wearing black.  Hmm.  Not really the right color for a wedding.

4:24 Taped Interview with the Archbishop of Canterbury.  Clearly he grew up before the Brits discovered orthodonture.

4:28  First sighting of Earl Spenser arriving at the Abbey.  I bet he won’t have a speaking part again.

4:29 The hats seem way out there.  This woman looks like she has a plate stuck to her forehead.   That one looks like she’s wearing a satellite dish.

4:37  Here’s an interview with  Prime Minister David Cameron, who’s just a bit player when the Royals are around.  He reveals that he is giving the couple a photo of some place called Anglesey as a wedding gift.  I guess they don’t need china or silver.

4:41 Decide to follow Sarah Lyall on Twitter.  Read her book about the crazy Brits and am amused by her tweets all morning.

4:43 The mayor of London is named Boris.

4:45 I still don’t think they should have named that hotel after Hitler’s top henchman.

4:46 Regarding the trees in the Abbey, Meg said last night that Westminster Abbey is not an event space, but she relents when she sees them in the nave.  Myself, I think they make the Abbey look like a Hyatt atrium.

4:49: John Major was the legal guardian to William and Harry?  Have to agree that it’s strange that Tony Blair and Gordon Brown weren’t invited just because they aren’t knights of the garter.  Gee, who decides who gets to be a garter?  I guess someone didn’t like the way Tony Blair took the credit for saving the monarchy in “The Queen.”

4:50 Speaking of “The Queen,” this is probably the time to confess that I never liked Diana.  I never thought she was pretty or glamorous and I really didn’t like how she used the media to attack the monarchy.  I do have to admit she was probably a good mother, though.

4:53  Meg made scones but where is the mottled cream?  Drinking Yorkshire tea in my lucky Charles and Diana mug.  The mug was a gift from my friend Marjory, who went to the UK to hang around for the Charles and Diana wedding in July 1981.  She later moved to the UK fulltime and worked for various Labour MPs and then for the anti-nuclear movement.  But as left-wing as she became she was always a sucker for royalty.

4:57 Here come the guests from foreign governments.  Is Joe Biden representing the US?   I never do learn this and am too lazy to Google it. Too bad the Syrian ambassador couldn’t make it. I gather he was too busy shooting down innocent protesters.

5:00 Too much discussion about the dress so I switch to CNN.  They are speculating about what William is wearing!  Apparently some kind of military uniform.  It’s kind of odd that all the men in this family will be wearing military uniforms.

5:03 David Cameron gets a rousing welcome from the crowd.  Piers Morgan: “We get to the time when the big guns get fired.”  Meaning this is when the big shots start arriving.

5:07 Back to PBS.  Feel smart listening to Simon Schama.

5:10 So they will be known as the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.  I wonder if they ever run out of duchies and need to double up?

5:11 The anticipation is building for the departure of William and Harry from Clarence House.  The royal family has eight limos and the boys are to travel in a Bentley.  According to the nervous announcer they are a couple of minutes late.  Here they come.  Yes, he is in uniform as colonel as the Irish Guards, whatever that means.   Prince Harry has the ring.  Can’t help but remember how William and Harry had to walk behind their mother’s caisson along this same route.  That’s one bond they will always have.

5:19  William arrives at the Abbey and takes off his gloves and hat.  Boy, he really is balding but at least he doesn’t have a comb-over like his Dad.

5:21 Looking at the lay-out of the Abbey, I  just noticed that most of the guests won’t be seeing anything except the procession. Which is better than nothing.  This facility was not designed for its sightlines.

5:25 The Middletons are coming in a Jaguar (pronounced JAG-you-are).  First mention that Kate’s mother is descended from a coal miner.  Speculation about her dress.  A sky blue crepe thing supposedly.

5:28 The Grand Duke of Luxemburg – they get a grand duke?

5:32 Carole Middleton arrives.  Surprisingly youthful and very well put together.  Now that I see her in the flesh I am getting indignant about the snotty things the British press said about her being a social climber.

5:33 Princess Beatrice is fifth in line to the throne.  I’m sure she’s not holding her breath.

5:34 I promised Meg I wouldn’t say anything nasty about Fergie’s daughters.  Still, can’t help note that they are wearing too much makeup and have the most ridiculous hats.  The contrast between the York sisters and the Middleton girls is startling.  And yes, it is odd that Fergie wasn’t invited.

5:38 Charles and Camilla arrive at the Abbey.  And she is wearing?  A champagne silk dress by Anna Valentine.  Charles  looks old. The first time I ever heard of Prince Charles was in the summer of 1969 when he was invested as Prince of Wales – he was about 20 (basically my son’s age now).  I watched the ceremony on a black and white TV in my grandmother’s living room in Nantucket.   Now he’s practically doddering.

5:39  Dame Edna is trending on Twitter.  What’s that about?

5:42 The Queen and Prince Philip leave the Palace.  She’s got a blanket on her lap?  He’s the longest-serving consort in British history.  There were married in the Abbey in 1947.  It must be strange for them to come back 64 years later.

546 The commentator is overcome with emotion about the dresses. “Fan-blooming-tastic day for British fashion.”

5:49  Queen arrives at the Abbey.  Trumpets blaring.  Charles and Camilla waiting for her.  She kisses Charles but Camilla curtsies.

5:51 Kate Middleton gets in the car, a Rolls Royce Phantom 6.  She’s wearing a veil, tiara and long sleeves.  Her Dad has her dress on his lap.  She does have a plunging neckline.

556: Kate’s sister Philippa arrives with the flower girls.  She’s also stunning.

6:00 Huge excitement for Kate as she rides to the Abbey.  Crowds cheering.

6:01 Kate’s struggling to get out of the car and her sister comes out to carry the train. Finally the name of the dress designer is announced.  Sorry, didn’t catch it. (Thanks God we finally know this because the speculation was beginning to drive me stark raving mad.)  Meg is not crazy about the dress – doesn’t like the skirt. But it looks good to me. Commentators about to swoon.

6:04  Here’s the procession as Kate and her walks down the aisle.  Appreciate that there is no chatter by the PBS commentators.

6:08 William is standing at the altar and doesn’t look at her until she appears as his side.  Nice smiles.

6:09 First hymn: Guide me o Redeemer.  There’s Elton John singing.  We sing this at our church too.  She moved her veil back.  Camilla looks like she may be choked up and can’t get the words out.

6:12 “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to….. “  I like the archaic language, but what is a troth?

6:18  “With this ring I thee wed.”  They are already married?  That didn’t take long.  She’s getting a ring but he isn’t.  The Archbishop takes his miter off and I notice he has enormous flapping eyebrows.  Don’t they have clippers in England?

6:24 A shot of Philippa and Meg says: “She’s the most eligible girl in the nation.”  Yep, whoever marries her gets to pal around with the future king.  Plus she’s as gorgeous as her sister.

6:24 Kate’s brother is reading from Romans. This is a nice family. He’s doing a great job – maybe he should become a minister.   Those Middletons are much classier than the Windsors.

6:29  Love the boys choir.  Assume there are no castratos in the Men’s choir?

6:32  Here’s a sermon from the Archbishop of London.  “Every wedding is a royal wedding.”  Well, maybe.   Sadly the sermon is perfectly fine and the archbishop is nothing like a Rowan Atkinson parody.  Miss the lisping bishop from The Princess Bride:   “Mawwage is an honorable estate.”  William looks bored, but maybe he’s just hungover

6:40  Just switched to CBS for ten seconds and sure enough Katie Couric was yapping.  Back to PBS so we don’t need to hear any commentary.

6:46 Bishop says:  “Those whom God has joined together let no man put asunder.”  He doesn’t glance up at Camilla, but he could if he wanted to.

6:47 Showing Elton John again during the singing of Jerusalem.  This is very rousing.

6:50  Every Twitter post and Facebook status for the last hour has been about the wedding.

6:51 “God Save our Gracious Queen.”  Wow. Very powerful.  Only one person not singing. I wonder if she ever gets bored of this tune?

6:53 Off they go to the Chapel of St Edward the Confessor to sign the register.  The hosts are back briefly to explain what the heck is going on.   “The most sacred place in Westminster Abbey.”

7:02  The parents are back from the Chapel.  Just noticed that the Middletons are sitting directly across from the Queen.  They are facing each other instead of facing the front of the church.

7:03  Recession of clergy.  Very stately.  Trumpets.

7:04 Here are Kate and William back from the Chapel and they begin walking back up the aisle again.  The music reminds me of Superman score or John Ford western.  She’s really smiling a lot.  He’s careful not to step on the dress.

7:09 Bells and cheers.  Here’s the royal coach.  He’s putting his white gloves back on.

7:11  They hop in a carriage built for Edward VI’s coronation in 1902 and the host says: “The grand procession is underway.”  Assume the guards are packing heat under those braids and other livery.

7:19  Harry’s riding in carriage with bridesmaids and pageboys.  It’s like being stuck at the children’s table at Thanksgiving

7:21  There’s manure in the streets.  The cameras try to cut away from it but not fast enough.

7:24 Now that all the details are out about the dress, we are hearing about which regiment is escorting which carriage.  It’s kind of boring detail but exotic in that British accent.

7:28  Phew the queen, Prince Charles and William are all safely in Buckingham Palace.  I wonder how they coped with terrorism threat?  No one mentions it but I was a little nervous about them in the open carriages.

7:34 Now that everyone is inside Buckingham Palace the BBC is reduced to interviewing  kids in the crowd.  Zzzz.  Asking questions about the dress.  AAUURRRGGG.  The adults sound like they are off the set if Upstairs Downstairs.  Since nothing is going on, I help myself to a second cup of tea and a second scone.

735: Simon Schama endorses trees in the Abbey.  Something about how they complement the soaring arches in the nave and make it seem like a people’s cathedral.  Whatever.  He also says there were two weeding s today.  One between Kate and William and one between the Monarchy and the British People.   Interesting that there was no whiff of republicanism today.  No need to upset the viewers.

7:44 Interviewing American girls in Hyde Park. They seem freer and more exuberant than their English counterparts.

8:11 Amazing watching the crowd march down the boulevard to Buckingham Palace.

8:26  Kate and William step on the balcony.  Then the flower girls, page boys and queen.  The announcer says: “What an experience for Michael Middleton.  And his wife is clearly enjoying this,” which I think is a bit patronizing.  Brief kiss.  Blushing groom.   Then an unprecedented second kiss!  Be still my heart. They attribute this second kiss to Diana’s influence because she was so spontaneous and this spilled over to William.

8:27: Queen Elizabeth’s parents (the ones from “The King’s Speech”) were the first to step onto the Buckingham Palace balcony after their wedding in 1922.  I’m also reminded of that famous scene during the celebration for the end of WWII when the royal family (including Princesses Elizabeth and Margaret) stood on the balcony with Churchill as the crowd screamed itself hoarse.  This is not that emotional, but it’s still a sweet day.

8:40 PBS switches to Curious George cartoon.